


Carlton still has a few surprises left, enough even to surprise himself

by Khoshekh42



Series: Pride Month Fics 2020 [2]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Bisexual Shawn Spencer, Coming Out, Fluff, M/M, Mistaken Homophobia, Pansexual Carlton Lassiter, Pride Parades
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khoshekh42/pseuds/Khoshekh42
Summary: Carlton's fears of coming out come toe to toe with a Shawn who thinks that Carlton hates that he's bisexual.(Spoiler alert: He doesn't hate Shawn)
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer
Series: Pride Month Fics 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770448
Comments: 5
Kudos: 208





	Carlton still has a few surprises left, enough even to surprise himself

Carlton always got… nervous right before June. He was pretty sure that Juliet had figured that out, but he was almost certain that she didn’t know why.

It’s not like he was _uncomfortable_ with his sexuality. Him being pan was just part of who he was, Carlton knew that, and he was fine with it. But the thought of people just… knowing that about him. It was terrifying to Carlton.

What bothered Carlton even further was his stupid, no-good, _idiotic_ crush on Shawn Spencer. And somehow, people knowing that he was into men seemed like a surefire way to get them to find out about his feelings for Shawn.

Which is why it was almost _petrifying_ when Juliet came up to his desk and dropped a small, rainbow flag on his desk.

His eyes widened, his breathing quickened, his heart started racing, and for a moment, he could do nothing but stare at it. He tore his gaze away from it, finally, and he looked up into Juliet’s eyes, hoping he wasn’t broadcasting his terror.

“What—I mean, why—?”

“Chief Vick wants us to stand outside the precinct and wave at the parade as it goes by.” Juliet cocked her head, “That’s… okay, right? I mean, I know your—”

“You know I’m _what_?” The panic seized Carlton, and he could feel a cold sweat start to bead down his back

“…Your mom. I was going to say that I know your mom is married to a woman.” Juliet gave him a weird look.

“Oh. Yes. Thank you, O’Hara. I’ll… yes.” Carlton could feel the blood flushing his face.

“Carlton…”

“I’ve got a lot of work to do.” He cut her off, looking back down at his desk, at the papers in front of him.

At the rainbow flag.

“Hel- _lo_ detectives!” Came the loud, unmistakable voice of Shawn Spencer echoing from down the hall behind Carlton. Juliet looked back behind him towards the source of the voice, and she grinned, laughing lightly at whatever she saw. “I see you’re getting festive, Shawn.”

“Of _course_ I am, Jules! I never miss a parade. And _this_ parade’s going to be the best one yet!”

Shawn came into view, twirling behind Juliet, tossing a pink, purple, and blue feather boa dramatically over his shoulder. He was wearing a shiny purple shirt, bright blue pants, and a pink panama hat. The shoes he wore were pink, purple, blue converse Carlton had seen once online. His fingernails were painted in the same combination of colors.

Carlton felt a hopeful sensation somewhere deep in his chest, accompanied by a sense of dread as Carlton came into the knowledge that Shawn Spencer was bisexual. Shawn Spencer was attracted to men.

Carlton had a _shot_.

 _‘More than just a shot,’_ Some awful part of his brain supplied. ‘ _He flirts with you, Carlton. All the time_.’

He quashed those thoughts, setting them aside as Shawn picked up the rainbow flag on Carlton’s desk, and tapped Carlton on the nose with the tip of it, “Lassie, I didn’t know you were gay!” He winked at him.

“I’m—that’s from the Chief. It’s not—” Carlton knew his blush was just getting stronger.

A flicker of something dark flew across Shawn’s face, “’Course. Didn’t mean to offend.” His voice was a little flat.

“Come on, Gus, I don’t want to be late to the parade.” He turned on his heel and led Gus, who Carlton hadn’t even noticed, towards McNab

The flush in his face turned from embarrassment to shame.

“That wasn’t very nice, Carlton!” Juliet admonished him, “Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean you have to make him think you hate him for _that_.”

“I don’t—” He sighed, “I’m sure he’s going to be fine.” But Carlton couldn’t help but feel the guilt burning stronger in his stomach.

“People don’t just bounce back from thinking that you hate them for stuff like that.”

 _‘I know,’_ Carlton thought, ‘ _I’ve_ experienced _it.’_

But he said: “I’ll apologize later, O’Hara, I do have work to do.”

Juliet hesitated for a moment more before nodding and walking off.

Which did absolutely nothing for the guilt still sitting heavy on Carlton.

 _‘You could just… tell him,’_ Said the awful part of him again, _‘Then he wouldn’t think you hated him.’_

_‘Give you a chance with him, even.’_

Carlton was usually so good at blocking out his feelings for Shawn, but the idea that he had a _chance_ was intoxicating.

He stared at the piece of paper he was holding, but he didn’t process a word on the page.

“Damn it.” He sighed.

Shawn deserved the truth. At the very least, he deserved that. He deserved to know that Carlton didn’t hate him or his sexuality.

And he stood, hands trembling.

Heart beating hard in his chest.

“Spencer?” He called across the bullpen, “Can I… talk for a minute?”

He half expected Shawn to say no.

Maybe he wanted him to say no.

“Anything for you Lassafras!” His tone was cheerful, but something in his eyes shone suspicious of Carlton’s intentions.

Carlton led him to an interrogation room, somewhere private where there wouldn’t be prying ears.

“I don’t… hate you, Spencer.” He said, carefully choosing his words, “Not generally, and certainly not for your… sexuality.”

“Yeah, well, why were you so weird about it then?” Shawn sounded resigned, as if he definitely didn’t believe Carlton.

“I’m… Well, to be frank,” Carlton’s hands were sweating, and he had to force himself to keep his eyes on Shawn’s, “I wish I were brave enough to be that open.”

He saw Shawn’s eyebrows raise slightly, mouth drop just a little, and he made himself press on, “I’m pansexual. Not that I’ve… told anyone.” The shame creeped back, “Not even my mother.”

“I’m not ashamed, it’s just…”

“Terrifying?” Shawn offered, mouth in a crooked and rueful smile, “Yeah. I get it.” He seemed genuine.

“Thanks.” The rush of relief that he got from Shawn not getting upset for not telling him was exhilarating, he felt drunk on it.

“Lassie… I’m not going to make you come out, god no, but… if anyone gives you crap about this, I’ll have your back.” He sounded genuine, again, and Carlton’s chest swelled full of the feelings he’d been trying to suppress the whole time.

All the support, all the understanding that Shawn was giving him gave him an idiotic bravery, and in one fell swoop, he kissed Shawn, quickly.

Drawing back, face as red as ever, he took in Shawn’s face, which was more stunned than Carlton had ever seen it.

“Glad I can still surprise the psychic.” He quipped sounding more certain than he felt.

As it turned out, Shawn could still surprise Carlton, too.

And, walking on air as he left the interrogation room, Carlton exchanged his small rainbow flag for a full sized pansexual one.


End file.
